Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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