Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
