Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Actions speak louder than pants.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
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