Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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