I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
