My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
