I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
