somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
