the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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