dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
