You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize