i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
