bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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