"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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