Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
