3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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