the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
