i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
