2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
True college students do jello shots in the library
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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