escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
