it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
