So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
