girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize