I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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