What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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