I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
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