I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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