i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
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