I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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