I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize