Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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