The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize
