id be glad to
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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