that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
