3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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