i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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