but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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