I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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