my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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