all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Randomize
