you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
This beer is not sobering me up at all
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Randomize
