honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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