Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I could fuck to npr.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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