Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Randomize
