sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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