Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
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