but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
