i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
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I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
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Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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