I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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