i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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