you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
