I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
