When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize
