All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
