just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
