its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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