were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
