Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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