Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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