Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Randomize
