i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
The adults are the big ones right?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
