My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
