im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
