Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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