So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
