Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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